“RARE ROAST CHICKEN CAT JONESING FOR A GROOVY NEW CRASH PAD” … OR WHY WORD CHOICE IS SO IMPORTANT

Today’s photo shoot for the new blog header had to be rescheduled as I was helping my mom with yard work. 🙂  So I thought this would be a good time to share with you the best ad copy I’ve ever read for a free cat, as promised back in June.  [GEEK ALERT!] This kind of stuff just makes me so happy.  Here it is:

__________

LUXURY CAT NEEDS NEW HOME

Elegant male cat seeks new home.  Loves to give and receive affection.  Neutered, front paws declawed.  Approximately three and a half years old.  Shots current through January 2011.  Samsonite carry-bag and all necessary accessories included.  No adoption fee.  The cat is exceptional and extraordinarily beautiful.  He deserves a loving home.  (909) 319-xxxx

__________

Whoever wrote this ad knew what they were doing.  The adjectives used to describe this cat were well chosen:  elegant, affectionate, exceptional, extraordinarily beautiful, deserving.  Even the title refers to him as a “Luxury Cat.”

This cat isn’t free to a good home; he’s seeking a loving home, and he’s available without an adoption fee…implying you would be lucky to have him.

He’s neutered, declawed, and his shots are good until a given date (nice touch), which means a lot of the vet bills have already been shouldered.  He’s also a young cat, so he’s likely healthy and won’t croak soon, but not a kitten, which means that he’s probably over the chewing-through-your-laptop-power-cord phase.

He also comes with his own freaking luggage (Samsonite, no less!) and accessories, meaning you don’t have to go out and buy a new litter box, cat carrier, collar, dish, food, litter, brush, et cetera, inferring it would be both convenient and cost-effective to adopt this cat over any other cat.

Word choice is everything, and this ad is nothing short of awesomeness.  It could have read, “Free cat to good home, fixed, shots.”

I should mention that this ad also included a picture of a truly handsome white cat that could have easily stepped off the cover of Cat Fancy.  The orange cat in the above picture is actually ours.  Please to meet Mr. Orange Julius Sneezer.  Doesn’t he look like a fuzzy roast chicken with a cat head?

Hmm.  If I were to write an adoption ad for his mug, this is what it would say (subtext is in red):

Ruggedly handsome cat (one ear is folded over from a drained hematoma, and he’s missing one fang because he got schooled in a fight) available for adoption to a non-Satanic home (ya know, just in case).  Self-sufficient (he drinks out of the toilet and will climb your leg to the kitchen counter to steal food), full of character (he’s a cat — they’re all full of it), mellow temperament (he sleeps 23 hours a day), and good with kids (because he runs away from them).

Me loves words!

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5 Responses to “RARE ROAST CHICKEN CAT JONESING FOR A GROOVY NEW CRASH PAD” … OR WHY WORD CHOICE IS SO IMPORTANT

  1. Pingback: I’VE BEEN BUSY WRITING! YAY! | My Blue Screen

  2. Amanda says:

    Baaaawwahhhhaaa!! Funnest/Cutest story ever. And yes, Furry roast chicken with a cat head is very accurate!! LOL!

    • mybluescreen says:

      🙂 Thanks, Amanda! I have a theory about this post…I think the title makes it seem like I’m trying to get rid of a cat, and everyone’s been staying away. Poor Julius!

  3. purrfectlee says:

    This is great! You a really do have a talent with the words. And poor Julius is right. lol

    • mybluescreen says:

      Thank you, thank you! Poor Julius is currently stuck outside in the rain because Mommy found out he’s been peeing in a corner of the bathroom. He keeps it up, I’m going to post his ad for real…. 😉

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